That’s me over on the left. I like how me and that cat on the right bookend this pic. I ain’t bother to ask nobody to come with me on this day. Why? Let’s start from the beginning…

I’m signed up to get newsletters and updates via email from Disney. They sent me something about that give-a-day, get-a-disney-day promotion where if you sign up to volunteer from opportunities listed on their website, you get a free one-day admission voucher (emailed to you after you volunteer) to any of the main Disney theme parks, Florida or Cali, you could donate your admission to a charity, or exchange it for a FASTPASS or an Ear Hat figurine. I already have a Disney World pass so I’m covered there. Don’t give a damn about a figurine. So my options are to use the FASTPASS here when I go or take a trip to Disneyland. Probably the California Adventure park. Gotta use the voucher by 12/15/2010 and it does have blackout dates. I got all year to make up my mind. Charity? Nah, that ain’t gonna happen. I know I’m gonna use it.

My reasons for volunteering are obvious. Free Disney pass 1st, give back to the community 2nd, meet new people 3rd. I originally signed up to volunteer in Clermont one morning handing out food and clothes and shit like that to needy and homeless people. Just so happens I had a date at this chick’s house not far from that city. We met online and got along decent but not perfectly over the phone and via text. I already knew she wasn’t dateable but she seemed like friend material at least since she was accomplished and ain’t come across as stupid. I asked her if she wanted to volunteer too and it was an enthusiastic yes. Spots were filling up quick since the time I signed up and by the time she got back with me (since she was working), all the spots were gone. I sent her the link via text but the fool didn’t know how to surf on her phone to check on occasion to see if spots came back open (which they could).

I emailed the lady in charge to see if any spots would fill back up or if she could make a spot come open. It was a no go. When I got to her place later that night, we checked on her computer and still no spots were open. So it was a done deal. I’d be volunteering solo. Wasn’t a big deal cuz where she lived wasn’t far away and we made plans for me to stay over. Turns out her head ain’t on Earth at all. It’s somewhere orbiting over by Neptune. She thinks she’s a psychic, believes in astrology and a mix of other religions, she’s an alcoholic, and she has a short temper amongst many other faults I won’t bother mentioning. It’d take up too much space. She was definitely hittable with humungous tits but I didn’t even bother trying to knock it. This chick was nuts. She cooked so we ate dinner (tasted good), watched a little tv, and I rolled the furk out. Simple hug goodbye and a thank you and that’s the last I seen or heard from her. Jeez, don’t you just hate when bitches misrepresent themselves? I think I’ve learned by now the importance of a face-to-face meeting when you date online. I guess I’m lucky no spots were available anymore to volunteer cuz it woulda been super awkward. Gotta love how destiny looks out for ya boy.

Ain’t like she lived close. That’s why I was gonna spend the night. But since that plan backfired miserably, that meant Clermont was gonna be a good drive to get to the next morning. So I cancelled that shit when I got home. Wasted enough time and gas on that bitch. But it ain’t like I still didn’t wanna contribute somewhere somehow. I checked the website over the next few weeks on occasion to see if anything close-by would pop open on a date that I was available. Nothing. Several actually did but it was on days that I had to work. I thought about taking the time off but opted out cuz I got bills to pay. Magically, an opportunity came open on a weekend day I had off, it was a simple task, short on time spent doing it, and reasonably close. So I went for it and got a spot when there was only one left.

Ain’t bother to ask nobody else if they wanted to do it with me cuz I already knew the answer. People these days only care about themselves. Very rarely do I meet anyone who’s selfless and willing to contribute back to society in some way with no expectation of gaining something tangible in return. If you gotta tell yourself you’re a good person, guess what? You’re not. It’s proven through actions. Having said that, would I have volunteered if not for the free Disney pass? Definitely not! The day before, it was cold, windy, and rainy. That Saturday morning at the VA center where I volunteered was the same except for the wind and rain. It was overcast and fucking freezing and the assignment was all outdoors. Miserable ass conditions and I knew it’d be that way but I still decided to go through with it. I’m a man of my word and since no one else was attached that could cause problems, I stuck to my end of the deal unlike last time. This is why I fly solo to shit a lot. I’m the only one I know who’s reliable enough to come through on their word. Don’t get me wrong, I ain’t lost faith in humanity at all but so far, that’s just my personal experience.

The VA med center is next to Baldwin Park on the east side of Orlando. Ironic that I was talking to another chick who lived there and during a phone convo about a week before, she said she ain’t think we were a match so communication stopped. Yep, met her online (after the other one). Yep, she misrepresented herself. Seems to be a pattern, huh? Even told me straight out that she’s shallow, judgmental, and impatient. Yeah, I think that’s definitely a mismatch for sure but I don’t pass judgment till I meet someone face-to-face unless they say or do something before that that causes me to ditch them. In her case, convo wasn’t bad at all. Her prob is that she put work before enjoying her personal life and she knows she needs to change but either isn’t willing to initiate it or doesn’t know how. I’ve met chicks like that. They just need to see things from another angle. Coulda helped but hey, she did say she’s impatient. She’ll work it out on her own someday.

Another chick bites the dust. And oh yeah, she was smokin’ hot too. That could be part of the problem with the women I’m attracting. They’re mostly white, accomplished (which is good), independent (which ain’t always good), no kids (I don’t date chicks with kids), and attractive. Like 8 or better attractive. Since I’m clearly still single as I write this, I realize I need to take a different approach. No, I never initiated contact with them. They all sought me out. In person though, I gotta feel some kind of connection if I’m gonna ask you out or get the digits to get to know you better. There was yet another white chick at the VA med center who was there alone and we sort of gravitated towards each other even though I did try to gravitate away. Due to my luck with white women, I opted not to get to know her beyond this volunteer effort. But here I am talking shit about not knowing selfless people and I just met one. And I realize now I was being hypocritical by excluding white chicks from my mix based on several bad experiences with them. I always preach that no one should apply the negative actions of a few onto an entire race or gender or whatever. It was after the fact that I saw the light and put my own words back into practice. So it’s quite possible that I let something good get away. But I can live with that. At least I learned my lesson from it. What’d she look like, you ask? She was on point. 3rd from the left on her knees in the pic.

Anyway, I rolled up in my car and met the Hands On Orlando group in the front of the center. Some cats were already prettying up the fountain. Our job was to tidy and pretty up 2 garden areas. They did provide gloves and tools. Me and ol’ girl took care of the cactus area and did a damn fine job. Even she’ll vouch for that. There was a mix of young and old volunteers there. Even the residents that could still walk and move helped out where they could. Like I said before, it was a simple task. I got a decent workout from lifting heavy ass 40lb bags of topsoil for a good hour. I ain’t mind since I’m all about exercise these days. Every little bit helps. Some people got down and dirty. Not me. I did my part but I wasn’t trying to be knee deep in dirt. FURK DAT! There was one bossy ass bitch but she was playing around. Got on my case cuz I stepped on some flowers while laying topsoil. What can I say, I gots big feets. And that’s exactly what I did say too.

After the two garden areas were done, we just had to clean up. I reeled out and reeled back in some hoses for other people to water the new plants. I picked up some litter that flew around the courtyard. There was a dog running around the whole time that was cute. It was there for therapeutic purposes for the residents. All the work was done fairly quick. Within a few hours I’d say and that’s cuz so many volunteers were there. The more the better, they said. That’s when we posed for that group shot and went inside to grub. They had junk food galore: hot dogs, hamburgers, chips, and baked beans. I passed by ol’ girl in line and she said it was nice to meet me. I didn’t fully understand what she said at the time cuz I was focused on the food so I just smiled and moved cuz I thought I was in her way since she was leaving without eating shit. It was later that I interpreted what she said and she probably thought I was a total dill cuz I ain’t say nothing back. My bad. If you’re reading this (which I seriously doubt), I legitimately didn’t understand what you said at the time. I’m an asshole but at the same time I’m not an asshole if that makes sense.

I got my fill of free food cuz I ain’t stupid. I don’t usually partake in that type of food often anymore but I can eat anything I want as long as I balance it out with healthy food. Them hot dogs was on point, I ain’t gonna front on that. I sat alone, surfed on my phone, finished eating, then bounced. I’ve seen that center many a time since I’ve lived here (I used to catch the city bus that stops up in there when I used to work up that way). Just never been inside or knew what was going on there. We did have to walk through the joint to get from one point to another. I saw some things I’d never seen before. I’m assuming this joint was an old folk’s home filled with seniors who can’t take care of themselves anymore and war veterans who are in the same boat. Some could still walk under their own power and were jubilant. Others were wheelchair bound and still jubilant. They just couldn’t walk anymore. But some that I saw made me see things in a different light. My possible future if I don’t take care of myself as best as I can now.

Some of them were just sad looking, tired, sleepy, slow, missing limbs, and attached to breathing apparatuses. One guy was missing both of his legs. I saw a short hallway full of geries in wheelchairs; lined up back to back against the wall facing me. All of them either blitzed or sleeping and they looked like zombies. Wish I coulda brought my cam in. Woulda made for a nice black and white photo but I ain’t wanna blatantly invade nobody’s privacy. While outside, a lady pulled up in a converted van to get a relative in a motorized wheelchair. Guy looked like he had so many things attached to him just to keep him alive. Then I thought about the lady and what she has to put with for the rest of her life dealing with that relative (or friend) till he dies. Ain’t like she was young. She was probably in her 50’s or getting close to it. Him too but he was in bad shape. It took them a good while to get him into that van. So much that a cop rolled up on her and told her to speed it up cuz she was blocking access. I can’t imagine the time involved in a situation like that but the things I saw that day put things further into perspective for myself and my lifestyle.

I had a job before where I was doing data entry and I had to process paperwork for nursing homes. A lot of it was complaints from residents and their family about their treatment by the nurses. It’s one thing to read those horror stories. It’s another thing to see the type of residents who’d be making those complaints. Not saying that I saw or heard of anyone being mistreated while I was at the center, but I got a better understanding of the basis of them. Maybe I’ll volunteer again in the future. Hell, definitely I’ll do it again but when it’s warm. This cold is a fucking bitch. When the day wrapped, I knew I was gonna take a walk around Lake Baldwin since it was so close. I drove around it first to see if there was a walking path and there was. Brought my ankle weights with 8lbs per leg in preparation. Not even a quarter of the way, I started feeling the burn but I motivated myself with a few relevant words, “There’s only one way to get back home.” Meaning if I wanted to get back to my car, I had to keep walking. It was a good 2.5 mile walk too. Damn sure felt the burn on that one when I took them weights off. And the irony continued. I had to basically pass through the whole neighborhood since it’s built around the lake. No doubt I passed by that chick’s house who said we weren’t a match. Oh well, I learned my life lessons for the day and did my part to give back to the world.

White chicks? Yeah, they’re back in my good graces. I know I need to change things for the better about myself when necessary to attract the right kind of woman cuz it’s never always just them. I play my part too. It’s all a work in progress. But psychic? C’mon now, I didn’t see it coming but she should have been able to, right?