I probably shouldn’t say shit cuz you’d fuck up my chances of getting free movie tix, but if you sign up at filmmetro.com and gofobo.com (still don’t know what the fuck that site name stands for), you can get free tix to movie prescreens. There are other sites like those, just so you know. I got a couple tix for The Spy Next Door last Saturday at AMC CityWalk. At first, it was “sold out” but I got an email telling me some tix came open. Never even really heard of the flick but I signed up anyway. Something to do. Plus the movie had Jackie Chan and George Lopez. After some research, I found out it was rated PG. That’s when I knew it was a kiddie flick. I put an ad on Craigslist for a date but nobody but spammers took a bite so I went with my homeboy.

I wore my 5-pound ankle weights and hoofed it the 2.5 miles to Universal for exercise. Hell yeah, it was cold as fuck. Made a pit stop at a Burger King along the way and got a cheesy wrap and that shit hit the spot. Warmed my ass right up even though it was sprinkling outside the whole time. Told my friend the movie starts at 10a. Son of a bitch got there at damn near 9:50a. The tix state you gotta be there early to get a seat and dipshit brought his girlfriend too. I only had 2 fucking tix. Murdafurka thought he could just buy her an extra ticket but it don’t work like that with prescreens. Luckily, the attendant said it wasn’t sold out so they let her in. We got in that bitch right at around 10a. There was a demonstration of some kids doing karate before the flick. Too bad we caught the tail end of it. I tell you what, god dammit, from now on, I’m telling people that shit starts earlier than it really does so they can fucking start being on time! How the fuck am I walking with heavy ass ankle weights on, wrapped up in clothes cuz it’s freezing cold, and it’s raining on my ass and I can get there on time and that fuck drove and got free parking and couldn’t? How the fuck?

The place was full of parents and kids. Not a good sign. But as the movie played and as it ended, I can vouch for this movie. It really ain’t bad at all, even if it’s primarily made for kids. The plot and characterization is what drives this. The acting ain’t stellar by any stretch of the imagination but little kids don’t give a fuck about that type of shit. It’s dumbed down just for them. Billy Ray Cyrus’ metaphors were pretty funny all the way through. There’s many lessons given that apply to both adults and kids so it does have a positive aspect. The action, while minimal for a Jackie Chan movie, wasn’t out of place, excessive, or distracting. This is really about a guy and girl wanting to be happy. Without spoiling anything, I think the relationship moved a bit too fast and it gives the wrong impression to impressionable young brains. But you’ll see what I mean at the end of the movie. There are the usual blooper reels during the credits but nothing after.

There’s plenty of laughs. Lots of sight gags. Almost all the characters have their own identity, especially the kids. And many a single parent can relate to the domestic life displayed here; mom or dad cuz it covers both grounds from young kids to young teens. All the problems are there as well as the solutions. This is a good family movie and would make a good date movie for a goody-two-shoes couple. For what it is and who it appeals to, I give it 7 out of 10 stars. I certainly wouldn’t pay for it (and I didn’t). I think it’s worth waiting for on dvd but that don’t mean it’s a bad movie at all. It’d make for a good family night out at the movies if you have some preteens. Some compare it to The Pacifier (which I haven’t seen and don’t want to see) and others have issues with the interracial dating but they need to get over it and take it for what it is. Turn off your brain or revert back to when you still pissed your bed and enjoy the movie.

I dl’ed Carriers. I like zombie and post-apocalyptic flicks and this falls into the latter category. Synopsis sounded good, it got good comments and reviews, so I gave it a shot and wasn’t disappointed. It’s not slow or boring in any way. I gotta give props to Chris Pine. The guy can act and the writing/directing team of the brothers Pastor seem to have brought out the best in him. They haven’t done much, but for something like this, their star will have to shine bright at some point. Really good effort put in here. Pine was an asshole in Star Trek and ain’t much different here. He can certainly be a lead in any type of action oriented movie but I’d like to see what else he has to offer in the drama department. I wanna see him cry.

I’d definitely recommend this movie. Solid performances all the way through. It ain’t a zombie flick but reminds me a bit of Zombieland cuz of the foursome of 2 guys, 2 girls. It ain’t a comedy either but it does have its laughs here and there. The pace is not too slow and not too fast either. It’s just right. I give it 7 out of 10 stars. If you’re into this genre, you won’t be disappointed. The climax isn’t what I expected but it is a good one. This is where Pine’s performance ranks up there with Karina Testa in Frontieres. Very solid and believable. If you’re a budding filmmaker and wanna know how an actor is supposed to act given the circumstances, then watch this part of the movie and study it.