I was using Twitter to give show updates but it went kaput a few matches in. Gave the error ‘something is technically wrong,’ and ‘twitter is over capacity.’ I mainly use the shit for immediate expression so that I don’t forget shit when I decide to do a full blog post. This situation was no diff. After draining off some of my cell phone’s battery trying to update (and from constantly checking the Magic score), some of which didn’t take, I stopped and gave up. Too many people tweetin’ at one time causes this type of shit I suppose. Bout time for some new servers, ‘ey Twitter? Anyway, these are the only tweets I was able to do as they relate to the show:
1. @ wrestling vintage in sanford. fucked up n went 2 da civic center 1st cuz das where wrestling usually is. had a dance ball in dat bitch.
2. wasnt hard 2 find da rite buildin. ample free parkin. $15 admission. no more dan 100 peeps here n das bein generous. women look like mutts.
3. b4 we got 2 sanford, we made pitstop @ bravo supermarket 4 sum good grub n i bought lotto n powerball tix. only spent a buk on each.
4. passed thru a nice white neighborhood along da way. saw a liqour store across da street n we were in da hood jus like dat. like nite n day.
5. show started on time wit a bonus match. triple threat: june mckenzie pinned prodigy wit jerrelle clark in da match. ill spell names wrong.
6. 10 bell salute 4 jon tolos was pathetic. bell ringer was sum guy named garvin. ol fool cant even ring a bell.
7. stimulus sam shaw n his corny manager in a goodwill tux v. brad attitude. josh rich is ref. shaws a good heel. my friend likes his name.
8. josh rich needs 2 take sum of wutever prodigy is on. deres a guy in a wig in da crowd hecklin all wrestlers. hes alone. i think hes a plant.
9. shaw wins by pinfall after manager interference n by holdin da ropes. good match. shaw has lots of potential. could b a big star.
10.semifinal match: raw dog aaron epic n his chunky ass bitch miss betsy v. glacier. no wcw entrance 4 him dis time...or any other eva again.
11.prodigy is 161 n epic is 190? yeah wutever. dey weigh bout as much as 1 of miss betsy's arms. epic jus lost by quik pin. good match.
12.sammy haggard v. raymond snow who appears 2 hav lost tons of weight. props 2 him. haggard throws lame punches...n he lost fast via pin.
13.ring announcer is scotty sweatervest. he wears a sweatervest. commish shawn solo is in da ring. thomas marr came out n is on da mic.
14.chris carson came out. him n marr did a program. marr was good on da mic n talkin shit but it was all da truth.
15.twitter said it was ova capacity 2 many times so fuk it. shows ova. was a good time. @ winghouse watchin da magic now. got a good lead.
Me and a friend decided on doing this show over the Magic game cuz we figured it’d end in time for us to catch the tail end of it. Another friend was gonna come with and bring his girl too but she got sick (a nicer term for drunk), so he had to cancel on us. The flyer very clearly states that the show would be held at the Salvation Army gym but my dumb ass went to the Civic Center out of habit. Parking lot was practically empty and we said to ourselves if the crowd was small, we wouldn’t bother. We walked up, opened the door, and it was an old folks dance going on in that bitch. We was like, “Oh shit!”
Shoulda crashed that bitch for a while just for the fuck of it but time was getting slim. After hearing my homie talk continuous shit about my lack of following directions, I got on my phone, went to Vintage’s site, and peeped the flyer for the addy. 24th street wouldn’t be hard to find and it wasn’t. After passing through redneck town and seeing folks walking barefoot on the road with the bottom of their feet as black as my skin, we found the place. Never been to this venue, parking lot was fairly full, free parking, and the surrounding neighborhood was quiet except for one annoying barking dog that can spot a nigger a mile away apparently. Yep, the damn thing was looking right at us from far across the street as if alerting everyone, “Hey, we got some darkies among us. Close your windows and lock your doors.” Like that’d help. We’re black. We carry gats!
I was driving my car, we found a damn good parking spot, and we proceeded to walk to the front of the building where the doors were locked. How stupid we were when the side doors clearly say ‘gym entrance.’ We went in, 2 chicks were at the admission table, and it was 15 bucks a pop. Our ticket was a handstamp as if we were going clubbing downtown or some shit. Advance tix were $10 and only available at a fucking flea market that’s only open on weekends. Considering how many people were in attendance, even that $5 discount didn’t help. There were only 100 people tops, not a lot of them were kids, and that’s a highball number.
All tix shoulda been 10 bucks for adults and $5 for kids ages 3-10, free for kids under 3, in advance and at the door. That’s a fairer price point and you also gotta consider the area and the economy. Sanford wages ain’t high, the population ain’t either, and it’s farther from the metro Orlando area which means spending more on gas and travel time. It’s pretty safe to say the people in attendance were representative of the area and that ain’t necessarily a compliment. I assume advance ticket purchasers got an actual ticket yet people at the gate paid more and got nothing for a keepsake. Nothing to say, “Hey, I was at Vintage Wrestling on this day.” There is such a thing as value for your money, especially these days. A t-shirt is one thing, a plain flyer/program is another, but neither can replace a ticket stub.
Whatever they were doing to promote the show clearly wasn’t good enough. Success is gauged by money. You get money from paid asses in the seats and merchandise and concession sales. I don’t think they got much of any. Having said that, I enjoyed the show and had a good time. It was a bit too family friendly for my long-term taste but it was a good show. The venue was about the right size but the seats were raggedy and uncomfortable. The setup was okay, sound system was good enough with no distracting technical difficulties, concessions fairly priced, bathrooms decently clean. Chicks? What can I say, it’s Sanford.
Show’s supposed to start at 7:30p and they started a little ahead of time with a bonus match. So I can vouch for them that they start on time and that’s a major plus!
1. Jude Mackenzie pinned Prodigy in a triple-threat match with Jerrelle Clark.
Other results say Prodigy’s (who needs to update his website) ring name is Jason Sensation but I’m pretty damn sure the ring announcer said Prodigy. And people in the audience called him that too so that’s what I’m sticking with. Pretty safe to say the guy will never be a superstar but he needs a unique name if he’s gonna keep working. Jason Sensation was a WWE talent. The Prodigy is a music group. His old Luigi gimmick speaks for itself. So what’s a guy to do when he plows through ring names constantly? Just use his real name. If he ain’t got nobody looking for him to beat his ass or to collect some debt, it can’t hurt, can it? At least he’d have his own identity.
When Jerrelle (who needs to update his website) came out first, I pretty much knew the match would be good, and it was, but the crowd was dead the whole time so that took away from the work these guys were doing. My friend said Prodigy was announced at 161 pounds. My ass. As in my ass weighs more than him and I’m skinny my damn self. Still, I’ve seen the guy work many times before and even at his slim frame (he’s been in much better shape in the past), he’s a decent worker. Jerrelle, good as always. Jude…can’t say much. First time seeing him. His name stands out to me cuz I’m currently reading Paradise X: volume 2 tpb and who did Reed Richards just capture to replace Death…okay, okay, I won’t say anything else about that. Don’t wanna spoil it for those of you who haven’t read it yet.
After this, which was a pretty short match, they waited a good 10 or so minutes to restart the show at around 7:45p. Not many more people were streaming in. From what I understand, they drew twice as many at their last show. Now does this mean people didn’t like it and didn’t come back due to bad word of mouth or did the Magic game take a bite out of the attendance? Pretty sure there were several factors involved but it is what it is. Like I’ve said many times before, your competition ain’t just rival wrestling feds, it’s anyplace that people are that they can spend time and money. You gotta know your area and demographics. You could even put psychographics into the mix but I doubt they have the resources to go that far.
During this short wait, they did a 10-bell salute for John Tolos if I remember correctly. The bell ringer was some old guy whose last name was Garvin, I think. Unfortunately, this is the wrestling business and 10-bell salutes seem to be a regular occasion. Usually, ringing a damn bell doesn’t take much effort and goes off without a hitch. People stand up, bell gets rung 10 times and quite audibly and at regular intervals, people clap and then sit. But this time, the bell might’ve got rung 10 times but the fucking guy’s arthritis must’ve been acting up on him and he might’ve hit the damn thing more or less times. Soft sometimes, hard others; at a regular pace sometimes, too fast on others. It was pathetic. Hard to describe how bad it was. It’s fucked up that it appears the guy retired from wrestling long ago but damn, if he can’t even ring a fucking bell, it’s about time to hang up the clapper too.
The ring announcer was known as Sweatervest cuz he wears, well, a sweatervest. Doesn’t do a bad job but that faggy-looking bedazzled shit he wears with his gimmick name on the back just don’t cut it. Fucking thing looks like it says Sweateruest. That cat either needs a new sweater or needs to take that thing in for repairs. Wouldn’t be surprised if Garvin did it.
2. “The Stimulus” Sam Shaw w/ Robin Donahue pinned Brad Attitude in a semifinal match for the vacant Vintage heavyweight title.
I saw Brad Attitude job to Austin Aries (who also needs to update his website) at an ROH show. This was my 2nd time seeing him and he lost again. He’s got the look and can work but his ring record, from what I’ve seen, ain’t stellar. Sam Shaw on the other hand is a great talent. This was my first time seeing him and I’m very impressed. Here’s a guy that I can see being a major draw someday. He has the look, he’s in good shape, he’s young, ring work is good, can work the crowd, has unique facial expressions and mannerisms, can sell and has good pacing, all the tools are there. Would love to hear his mic work. Maybe he did some at the show but I don’t remember.
He doesn’t need his manager cuz that guy looks like a fucking cancer patient. And his suit looks like something he found in a bin in the back. This was the Salvation Army after all. If he’s gonna have a manager, it has to be someone suitable to his own gimmick and Robin just ain’t a good fit (pun intended). My friend like’s Shaw’s name and I do too. He needs to play the gimmick up more. Like having unique moves and giving them corresponding names. Like ‘the foreign policy,’ and ‘the tarp’ or some shit like that. I like that guy.
The match length was good and it woke the crowd up. There was one guy wearing a wig who heckled everyone. Still not sure what his role was; whether he was a plant or just some guy with nothing better to do that night. He was entertaining though. If not for him, the crowd probably woulda been dead the whole night.
3. Glacier pinned “Raw Dog” Aaron Epic w/ Miss Betsy in a semifinal match for the vacant Vintage heavyweight title.
To my knowledge, the question has still never been answered as to how Glacier got back his gimmick from Kaz Hayashi. I suppose he gave or sold it back cuz it got him nowhere too and Vince doesn’t care who uses it, provided he owns it. I’ve seen Aaron Epic plenty of times and he hasn’t changed a bit except that he has that big bitch Miss Betsy with him now who I never saw before. Is she really a descendant of Babe Ruth? Aaron is good on his own but she compliments him pretty well other than the skinny guy/fat chick stereotype and crappy ring gear. Glacier was on Burn Notice, one of my fave shows, but that don’t mean I was rooting for him. Wasn’t rooting for either of them really. Just another match. Aaron was dodging and yapping on the mic the whole match till he finally got in the ring and got pinned in, like, a minute.
I said it was a good match in my tweet cuz it was a short match. Epic was announced at 190 pounds. I got nothing to say on that. He has the ‘raw dog’ moniker now. Is that what he does to Miss Betsy?
4. “The Killing Machine” Raymond Snow pinned Sammy Haggard.
Sammy was talking shit on the mic beforehand. Snow came out. Was expecting some violence but this wasn’t that type of show. Then I thought I’d get a total squash match. Didn’t happen. Then I figured this match would be just as short as the previous matches. Still didn’t happen. Snow won convincingly but this match was longer than it shoulda been. Still short but still too long. Snow has lost a lot of weight, I’ll give him that. He probably got his nickname ‘the killing machine’ to describe what he used to do to dinner buffets. My friend, who works for the same company as him, sees him on occasion and wondered what happened? Stomach stapling? Gastric bypass? Lap band? Or good old fashioned diet and exercise? Let’s hope it’s the last one and he keeps on dropping those pounds. That way he can finally wipe his own ass and find his dick. It’s in there somewhere. I’m sure it misses him too.
5. This wasn’t a match. Rather, Sweatervest introduced Sean Solo, the commish, who came out to talk about the title tourney, I think. He had some munchkin with him dressed like a low rent Blues Brother as his bodyguard. Then Thomas Marr came out in regular clothes to talk shit. He kept saying he was the SCW champ but that fed is out of biz apparently so he was the last champ, I suppose. He complained about what was wrong with the biz: lightweights and skinny guys who ain’t in shape, bad ring announcers, stupid fans, and washed up veterans who won’t pass the torch, like Glacier and Lanny Poffo who were booked that night. Well, he ain’t lying. It’s all true. But more on that later. Then Chris Carson came out: referee and former SCW top dog, I presume.
Thomas had to be reminded that SCW was dead by the commish who later apologized to Carson for using such a derogatory term. Was Solo lying? Nope. Carson said SCW was alive in the fans’ hearts. Okay. He was invited by Solo to be the ref in the finals match for the Vintage belt and he accepted.
6. “The Korean Monster” Ryze pinned Dylan Night w/ Candi.
I looked online and it’s mostly spelled ‘Night’ (who needs to update his website) rather than ‘Knight’ so that’s what I’m going with. They announced the korean monster and I was expecting Kim Jong Il to come out but I was disappointed and got Ryze instead. Worst match of the night (pun intended). Ryze is out of shape but he does have a good finisher. That’s about the only highlight. Fans like him for some reason.
7. “The Genius” Lanny Poffo pinned “Raw Dog” Aaron Epic w/ Miss Betsy.
Poffo (whose website is up to date) came out with a clean shave and a haircut and his bod looks like that of a stereotypical yesteryear wrestler. Still has the same voice he used to and he’s not in bad shape but not in great shape either. He looks about like he should for someone his age in this business that wasn’t on the gas (at least I don’t think he was). He did some poetry from memory, got his applause, and Epic came out talking the same shit Marr was; about how the vets won’t pass the torch and let the young bucks come up. The match began and Epic was going extremely soft on him (in a non-sexual way). He was pulling all of his hits to take it easy on the old guy and still lost. Poffo busted out with a second-rope moonsault and got the pin.
When he was shaking hands with the fans afterwards, he asked me and my friend why we weren’t at the Magic game. We told him we were gonna go watch it after the show ended and he said he was too. Cuz we’re two tall black guys, that automatically means we’re basketball fans? We got a chuckle out of his profiling us. Props to him for risking mono by kissing Betsy during his match. And here I thought he was a faggot for all these years.
Intermission time. I peeped the dvd’s and merchandise. I understand they gotta make their money any way they can. It was mostly WWE toys and shirts available. I was surprised to see pirated dvd’s there. X-men: The Animated Series and the complete G.I. Joe collection and shit like that. No way I was buying either since X-men is finally on dvd and G.I. Joe will be released as a complete collection soon. Not much for retro observations except that Sweatervest kept talking about showing props to the sponsors yet reps were nowhere to be seen. At least I didn’t see nobody.
Reserved seating was simply front row seats with a piece of hand-written paper taped on the back of them that said ‘reserved.’ The second row was perfectly fine. We sat in the bleachers first but that shit was uncomfy so we moved up a notch. One would expect chairs to be more ergonomically correct than bleachers but my seat was all bent forward and shit. It was all men around me and you know how we sit, with our legs all open and shit, taking up space. I was like, fuck that, I had to make some room in that bitch so I moved the seats apart a little bit. Shit, I’m black and my dick and balls need to breathe and some room to move.
There was a little girl in front of me that Robin Donahue seemed to favor. He blew a kiss at her and touched her leg and was smiling. My friend thought he was a fucking pedophile and I thought that was funny. I think that was his daughter and he was just showing affection. But more on that later too.
8. Nooie Lee and The Hatchet City All-Stars beat Mike Cruz and The Vacation Foundation by pinfall.
The Vacation Foundation is a total joke. The guy in the striped blue shorts looked like a reject from this past season’s American Idol auditions and the motherfucker in the goldfish shorts was just as pathetic. It would appear they have what they think is a stereotypical Floridian gimmick but those two little bitch asses don’t rep me or my state, that’s for fucking sure. They’re an embarrassment to the sport. The very thing Marr was talking about that’s wrong with the biz. Can they work? Surprisingly yes.
Not that they’re good workers but they didn’t work as bad as they looked. I was expecting Nooie and Cruz to go singles eventually and that’s what happened as the All-Stars (I have no idea where or what the fuck Hatchet City is) and the Ejaculation Foundation brawled to the back. Really, the Foundation abandoned Cruz and the All-Stars followed them. I yelled at Cruz during the match, “Why don’t you get in there and help out ya boy?” He turned back and said, “I ain’t helpin’ these guys.” I don’t blame him cuz they ditched him anyway. Maybe they heard him. Nooie and Cruz are two little guys who happen to be in good shape and look like they’d have a good singles match. They were doing good solo work when the tag teams bounced out but the finish was disappointing. No flashy move, just Nooie getting a quick, lucky pin on Cruz. A singles rematch would be a smart move for the next show.
9. Chasyn Rance pinned Zoe.
Chasin’ Rats beat his student. Who knew Rats was qualified to teach? This was a mostly technical match with a fast pace. I’d only seen Zoe once before in a YouTube vid on floridaindies.com promoting a tag match with her partner Snow for an I Believe in Wrestling show. Honestly, she looked and sounded kinda mannish to me. Having seen her for the first time in person, I can safely say that she’s all woman and not a bad worker either. Other than her very nice physical stature, to me, she stands out more for her facial expressions. Whether she’s selling or just emoting, she does a good job with her face. Pun not intended but that can’t be helped, now can it?
Zoe and Rats hugged it out after her loss. Epic and Betsy came out and Bets challenged Zoe to a match cuz, according to her, Vintage ain’t big enough for the both of them. Since Bets is taking up all the room with her girth, that’s a true statement in a way. So that’s a match for the next show. Rats got announced as Chasyn “Not Cocky” Rance. Shouldn’t it be “Not Cocky” Chasyn Rance? Marr continues to be right.
10. Shawn Spears w/ XO pinned Biff Slater.
Shawn (whose website doesn’t even work) has been around the big feds and it shows. He’s got all the tools and reminds me a lot of Nigel McGuinness. Plus he has multiple names. Choose one. I don’t know why XO was even there since she did practically nothing except smile at her friend(s) in the audience. Biff reminds me of Bill DeMott. When XO did get involved, Spears snuck in a low blow and a pin. Who does he think he is, Attitude era Marc Mero? He did a lot of stalling like Epic did previously.
Let’s talk about staying in character. Donahue acknowledged what may have been his daughter during a match. XO does the same for her peeps. I don’t have a prob with them doing this at all but not during a match. Before or after but not during. Takes away from the heel gimmick since that’s what they were playing. Is distracting to fans whether anyone wants to believe that or not (remember, my friend thought he was a pedo). And it’s unprofessional. But that’s just my opinion. If you’re in or around that ring, you need to stay in character. Interact with the fans, but stay in character. She was looking back at her peeps and smiling almost the whole damn time till her moment came up. No real interactivity with the fans or the match at all.
Donahue wasn’t as bad as her but he turned from heel to seeming father figure each time he saw that kid. You know, a quick acknowledgment is okay. But 5-10 seconds during a match? Not good. But that’s just me. If I was a wrestler or manager/valet, I’d know my role and stick to it till the match is done and even when it’s over. I hate to say it, but motherfuckers need to stick to the script.
11. “The Stimulus” Sam Shaw w/ Robin Donahue pinned Glacier to become the first Vintage heavyweight champion.
Before Marr was lurking around at ringside, I knew a swerve was coming but I just didn’t know how. And I knew it’d involve Carson who eventually pulled a Teddy Long on Glacier. I think a different swerve woulda been better. Glacier was attacked afterwards by Shaw and crew but Jesse Neal came out to make the save. Signature move was a spear/gore but he ain’t exactly all beefed up like Goldberg or Rhino or even Edge to make it look effective. But he was trained by who he was trained by and this is naturally what we get. Nice brohawk though.
Now about that swerve, it all goes back to what Marr was saying and even what Epic was saying about the veterans. It doesn’t help the situation by making them faces. WCW did that with the New Blood storyline and it tanked. And it’s been done countless times to no avail since. TNA is doing the opposite with MEM but it’s TNA. They can’t do anything right. Poffo won his match and Glacier becomes the guy who got screwed over, automatically putting him in a longer term face position. Since he was playing face all night, I woulda had him turn heel on Neal, and Shaw and Marr would join him in the beatdown. That would put Neal over more and establish Glacier as a hated guy but not the guy in the top spot, which would be Shaw. That way, they could use him to not only help elevate Shaw and Marr but also Neal.
Glacier has never been a superstar. He’ll go down as having the biggest failed gimmick in the history of the sport. This company should acknowledge that and use it to their advantage to make his heel character bigger and his losses more meaningful to the up and coming talent. Shaw and Marr elevate simply by association. Glacier could possibly be Shaw’s more appropriate manager and possibly ditch or lose the Glacier gimmick (again) altogether. But that’s only if he was gonna be around for the long term and if the fed ran shows more often. Everyone wins. But these promoters keep letting the old guys stay face and letting them win. I’m not saying they should job left and right. I am saying they should realize their place, use their remaining star power to their advantage, and help the younger guys get over, whether it be as face or heel. Really, it’s all in the booking as usual.
If a vet still has what it takes to have good matches and main event, then by all means use them. But in a case like Glacier and Poffo, their stars weren’t that bright to begin with. Poffo shoulda lost his match. It doesn’t help a guy like Epic who lived up to the chants of ‘epic failure’ that night. What does Poffo gain other than recognition he already has? Epic loses more when he jobs to a guy like Poffo. It just doesn’t look good and it’s not believable. Had Poffo been built up over time as a washed-up wrestler and he stole a win, I got no prob with that. But this is a one-shot where the young guy would benefit more. But agreements were made and this is what we’re stuck with in the history books.
Not a bad show overall. I did have a really good time even though I chose not to take a single pic or any video (but I still bring my cam along everywhere I go). For the most part, the matches and progression was good although 3 hours was a lot longer than it should’ve been. Given what else was going on that night, assuring a shorter card coulda been to their benefit. They coulda cut out 2 or 3 matches, not have had the break at the start of the show, and shortened the intermission. I know they use it to give people a break to go spend money on food and merchandise, but if people really wanted it, they would get it. That’s how I see it. Progression was good as I mentioned but they could learn how to better space apart the matches and intros to give people time to spend their money without having a super-long intermission. Time is money and 3 hours for an indy show is just too long.
The action never spilled beyond the rails. When I say family friendly, I mean family friendly. Spears even uttered “mother pearl” when he was selling a spot. No blood, no foul language, no gratuitous violence, no underdressed women. It was truly vintage, just like the old days. So they’re keeping pace with their namesake. Would I attend another card? If I had the time, I’d say yes, provided they book the matches I expect that resulted from this show and if they lower the ticket prices to reflect the true value of the show.
My main reason for attending is that I hadn’t seen any good wrestling for a long time and I finally had a Saturday free. Plus I wanted to see some new talent instead of the same guys over and over again doing the same ol’ shit. I got a good mix of both so I’m not disappointed at all. So I personally give Vintage a thumbs up. There’s definite room for improvement and i’ll be keeping my eyes open to see if any of what I feel are necessary changes take place. If things look right when the next show pops up, they’ll get my time and money. And maybe yours too. I’m not the one in charge but I am the one with the money, just like the other fans who paid, so whether you like it or not, that counts for something each and every time.
