http://www.kow626.com/tickets/events/rescue_me_comedy_tour_ticket_04232009.jpg
Click here to view cell phone pics I took at the show. Not high quality cuz I'm still in need of a new phone with a better cam amongst other things. But they're not completely bad.

I found out about this show a week before it was gonna happen when I saw a commercial during Rescue Me. I pretty much gave up on it cuz I had to work. But i changed my mind cuz I really wanted to go. When was I ever gonna see Denis Leary live again? So I asked my supe if I could come in later and he said it was okay. Then I checked my email while on break at work and I got one from orlandovenues.net offering free tix to the show. Damn link wouldn't load on my phone so I waited till I got home. I texted around asking people if they were down cuz the tix were free. Some said yeah, others said no, others said nothing except shit like "awesome" and "cool" which pretty much means no.

Got home to check what was left and they were all gone. I kept checking and checking and nothing came open. And I didn't have any promo codes for the other discount tix that were being offered. So I texted around again to let people know it wasn't gonna be free nomore and all of a sudden no one wanted to go. I tell ya, almost everyone I know is piss ass broke or cheap as fuck. Almost!

At this point, I was like, "Fuck it, I'll go by my damn self," and I damn sure did. From the time I found out about the event to the time it ended, I updated about it on Twitter so I'll put all of my tweets about it here to give you a timeline of events and what was going through my head when everything was going down.

1. watchin rescue me n dey advertised theyre comedy tour n its comin 2 orlando. prob is no1 i know watch da show n i got no one 2 go wit. FUCK! 8:38 AM Apr 18th from web.

2. got a email offerin free tix 4 denis leary @ bob carr 5 hrs ago. site wouldnt load on my ph. got home 2 chek. all da tix r gon alredy. FUCK! 11:03 PM Apr 21st from web.

3. got approved 2 go n2 work late 2morrow so i can peep denis leary. no1 else can afford or wants 2 pay 2 go so im flyin solo. n im da cheap 1? 11:40 PM Apr 22nd from mobile web.

4. mofos chargin 10 buks 2 park. fuk dat. parked my ass rite smack in da hood across da street 4 free! 7:18 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

5. bob carr dont look like much on da outside but cleans up betta inside. still nathan special though. but not bad. 7:20 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

6. i suggest u eat b4 u get here. plenty of alcohol but NO FOOD! wut da fuks more impo?! now i gotta starve til da show ends. 7:22 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

7. usher said no pics or flash once ur in da auditorium. every1s flashin n snappin away on their cellys. so much 4 enforcin da rules. 7:25 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

8. my tix cost $48.50. no discounts. place is pretty full. damn all those fuckers who got da free tix online. DAMN U ALL! 7:27 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

9. brought in my pmp. gonna try n record da audio 4 ur lissenin pleasure. keyword here is 'try.' 7:30 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

10. looks like a band is gonna b playin 2. stage is set up 4 it wit drums n such. 7:33 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

11. plenty of talent here 4 those of u dat wanna know. talent as in hot girls. most r taken n r alcoholics n white. im da only nignog here. 7:36 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

12. dont u jus hate win shows start late? its past 7:30 now. 7:37 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

13. my seat is da very las 1 @ da top in da farthest corner n da view is great. safe 2 say every seat is a good 1. 7:39 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

14. usher jus asked if i was alone. i said yeah. offered 2 put me in da front row @ da top. I SAID NO! i like my lil corner... 7:43 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

15. started off wit tons of rescue me promos. den leary came out. he's doin songs wit his band now. 2nd song. lotta cussin! 8:04 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

16. doin a prayer 4 natasha richardson now. wit sum comedy blended in of course. 8:06 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

17. leary dresses jus like he does on da show. shittin on madonna, octomom, n salma hayek. 8:13 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

18. leary's dun. kenny or kevin robinson or robertson is on stage now. 8:58 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

19. peeple in front of me aint stopped drinkin since da show started. losers. 9:01 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

20. lenny clark's on now. jus as much cussin as i xpected. n i luv it. 9:21 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

21. lennys dun. learys singin again. band is called da enablers i think. dey're good. 9:46 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

22. drunks in front of me still drinkin. 1 dum bitch said she has a cc payment 2 make n sound like its da minimum. should use beer $ 2 pay more. 9:50 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

23. adam ferrara's on now. never hurd his standup b4. 9:51 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

24. looks like bob carr has a cutoff point 4 servin drinks. thank god. wouldnt want all deez peeple on da road in their condition. 10:05 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.25. ferraras dun. hes funny. learys singin da asshole song. peeple know da lyrics. hope dey dont dance like him 2. he sux. 10:12 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

26. now theyre throwin shirts 2 da crowd. 1 drunk is pissed he aint perform da full song. all comics on stage. standin ovation while band plays. 10:15 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

27. shows over. time 4 me 2 go 2 work...hungry! 10:18 PM Apr 23rd from mobile web.

28. bum was in da parkin lot beggin 4 food win da show ended. bet i was jus as hungry. aint c me out dere lookin 4 a handout! 1:00 AM Apr 24th from mobile web.

29. my thoughts on da show? hysterical! but no racial slurs. still put paul mooney as my fave live act. he dont giv a fuk! he'll say anything. 2:26 AM Apr 24th from mobile web.

Biggest issues would be parking, food, taking pics, and sound. Why pay all dat money to park on property when you can park over in the hood for free? I do it all the time and it ain't even a 5 minute walk away. I guess all them crackers was scared. And oh yeah, when I say all them crackers, other than me, that's all that was there that i could see with some brownskins blended in maybe. And that's fine. Probably safe to say that's the show's demographic which is kinda sad cuz the show really appeals to everyone. Or maybe it's just that niggers, spics, and chinks are just too poor to afford something like this?

I wonder where those free tix were and how many were offered. The limit was either 6 or 8 when ordering and i'll bet a million fuckin' bucks that motherfuckers got way more than they really needed and were trying to sell them online. I saw some ads and one guy even tried to scalp his shits on me when I went up to buy mine. Sorry buddy, I don't carry cash. Regardless, the free tix all got swallowed cuz the place was full. So either the promotion was successful or some motherfuckers got broke off. I made the decision to pay damn near 50 bucks and I got no regrets. Bastards ain't have no further discounts at the box office though. But it woulda been nice to get them freebies. I really do need a new phone. When I click a damn link, I expect it to damn load...

I purposely didn't eat shit before going cuz I wanted to sample the Bob Carr grub. What grub? Motherfuckers didn't have shit to eat except beer food. You know, pretzels and lame ass bullshit like that. Fuck that. High class place like that, I expect some fucking real food but they ain't got jack shit in there for meals. Pissed me off cuz I was starving my ass off when I was at work. Now I, and you, know better. Guess they know what their clientele likes. Buncha drunks.

Lotta geries work up in this place. Damn near all the ushers were pushin' 60 or were way past that. I did a walkaround to peep the place out. Nothing special really, inside and out. But it ain't a hole in the ground. Theater is pretty big but the sound where I was sitting was kinda lacking. Therefore I deleted the audio file I recorded of the show cuz it didn't come out good. When Leary started singing with his band to open the show, I could barely hear him. Instruments came through loud and clear but not the lyrics. The sound did improve later though, so maybe someone complained and they chalked it up to technical difficulties rather than shit seats. Every seat is a good one, I can confirm. But if you're the type to sneak in a cam and actually use it, you better have a good zoom range.

My cam is too big and too obvious. A compact cam with a good zoom and iso, and good seats within probably the first 15-20 rows would grant you some good shots. Ushers said don't use cams, don't use flash. Motherfuckers were snapping away the whole time. I ain't in the market for a new cam but I may consider getting a compact for situations like this.

Dress code? What dress code? I went in there in work clothes so it don't matter worth a shit. This is Orlando after all.

I have to assume the purpose of this tour is to promote the show and support firefighters. I didn't see a single firefighter in garb so they failed on that front. And if they wanted to promote the show, I didn't see any dvd's for sale anywhere. I'd say most people there were existing fans of the show or of the comedians. Let's say someone wasn't a fan of the show. It's too late to jump on board so you'd think they'd have the season sets for sale there. Didn't happen. There were t-shirts and auction items and that's about it. No dvd's, no firefighters on stage promoting anything or recruiting.

Plenty of ads for Rescue Me before the show started though. The place was packed so getting asses in the seats, they accomplished that. Getting more eyes on the tube when motherfuckers go home, I don't know. Still, I had a good time. Lots of good comedy. Lots of cussing. No drama...and no food! If I ever go back to this place, that's the one thing I'll remember to keep in mind. And you should too!