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This is gonna be a condensed article due to time constraints.

Went to the All-Star Professional Bull & Bronc Tour this past Saturday with a friend who shall remain nameless. The area that the UCF Arena was in looked brand spanking new to me. I’d only graduated about a year ago and within that time the landscape has certainly changed. This new batch of college kids got it good and don’t even know it. Fucking place looked like a downtown area and shit with the fancy dorms, restaurants, and storefronts and shit. Wasn’t like that at all when I was in school. Spoiled brats. They’re paying for it in their tuition though. Or I should say I helped pay for it in mine.

Parking was 10 bucks but I don’t carry cash. I told that to the parking attendant and asked where an ATM was. Young chick told me to go ahead and go in and if anybody asked questions I should tell them I’m with the soccer event that was next door. Saved 10 smacks cuz a college girl didn’t do her damn job. Gotta love it. Can’t expect anything less from minimum wage employees. Guess she didn’t want me backing up the line of cars. Who knows.

There was a very clearly marked sign in the garage that pretty much said you can’t bring your own cam into the arena. That sucked. I had to turn tail and put my cam in my car. So we walked towards the arena through the upscale-looking area and nowhere did I see a sign that said ‘UCF Arena’ even though I knew what it was when I saw it. Outside were animal rights protesters who were cussing up a storm with their “Fuck the rodeo” chants. But you know they got backlash from people that were attending and participating in the event. Lots of “Fuck you’s” hurled all over the place. I went up to the protesters to get some cell phone pics since that’s all I could do without my real cam. Chatted it up with one of them and he said the bulls are treated inhumanely and such. I can’t confirm that cuz I’ve never seen how the horses and bulls are treated at rodeos.

I did tell him I support their cause even though I think protesting is completely and totally pointless and accomplishes jack shit. I won’t attend a circus cuz I have seen how the animals are kept there. But until I see how rodeo animals are kept, I’ll still watch it and support it regardless of if I’m rooting for the animals instead of the cowboys or whatever they’re called.

Inside, the place is pretty spaced apart. Lots of room and well lit. More college kids manning the stations. We were hungry and didn’t immediately want the arena food so we hit up an attached Jimmy John’s sub shop. More like a Jimmy Joke. What a waste of money. You definitely don’t get your money’s worth. For what I paid for one of their little subs, I could’ve bought the ingredients myself and made several subs. Just ain’t worth it. My friend was thirsty and hit up an Asian smoothie joint. Fucking owner stereotyped the shit out of us. First he said we were out of place (cuz it’s a rodeo). Then he asked if we played basketball. I thought it was funny cuz he didn’t even realize what he was saying. Then again, he probably did.

There was a Bud Light stand upstairs, the concession stand, and booths for Verizon Wireless and RideNow; both staffed by attractive women. Like that’s gonna make me wanna buy your shit. Suckers, yeah, but not me. Not a whole lot of action on the outside cuz there weren’t many people there from what we saw on the inside. Not even a few hundred people showed up. The announcer even acknowledged the low turnout but thanked everyone for showing up cuz of all the places we could’ve been, we chose their event. I can respect that.

I see rodeo on tv every now and then. I have a casual interest in it but I don’t follow it like I do pro wrestling. Neither of us knew we liked rodeo until only a few months ago and we’ve known each other for years. We both had time and money on our hands and this event was being held on the right night for the right price in the right place so we went for it. Literally only a handful of niggers and spics were there. Everyone else was (for the most part) trailer park white trash, probably from nearby Bithlo and Union Park. Lots of people wearing cowboy hats, and drinking beer and spitting inside the damn arena. Nasty ass motherfuckers. I will give the chicks some cred though, a lot of them had some huge tits. Watching them walk (bounce) up and down the stairs was a show that not a lot of people knew was going on except those that were paying attention.

The announcer asked the people at the top to come on down to the bottom but they didn’t bother. Glad I didn’t pay top dollar. I got mid-priced seats. Every seat in the place is a good seat though. The arena ain’t that big at all. If you’re like me and was wondering why the top level seats don’t wrap around the place, it’s cuz there’s club seating there with tv’s and all that good stuff. The show had a little too much talking for my taste. There was a two-man act that performed a song to start things off. And some thick chick (forgot her name) who was hanging in the horse stable came out to sing (or attempt to) the national anthem. So she left the smelly horses to come out and stand in a pile of dirt in heels for a bunch of rednecks and didn’t do a good job of singing. Makes me wonder how her night really went.

There was a rodeo clown doing lots of jokes and funny stories and performances in and out of the crowd. Horse riding. Bull riding. Bulls v. Clowns. Didn’t get the full rodeo experience like I see on tv but I was entertained the whole night. No drama of any kind. Everyone was in good spirits. The show ran just over 2 hours. It was worth what we spent. It really was a good time. What I didn’t like was that there were people in there with real cameras and here I was stuck taking crappy cell phone pics. Also, there was no leaderboard or something similar that had the names of the cowboys and their stats and such. There was pretty much no familiarity with the riders and performers. I have no clue who won the thing. Sure, the announcer let us know all that stuff verbally but it’s in one ear and out the other. If there was an updated display of some sort so I could match the name with the rider and the bull and such, it would’ve been that much more enjoyable. There was a huge empty wall at one end of the arena. They could’ve put something like that there. They didn’t even put anything like that on the hanging screens. Just video, crowd shots, and replays. Still, a good time was had by all.

We had the option of just leaving to go grocery shopping at Wal-Mart or stick around and explore the area. We explored alright. Brighthouse Stadium was right there and we walked around it. Then we thought to ourselves, “Let’s go inside this bitch.” But how, you ask, if the place is closed till the next game? You know how I get down if you’re a regular here. We hopped the spiked gate and were inside just like that. Had the whole place to ourselves as we explored damn near every inch of the joint. Had the cheap bleacher seats all to ourselves. The field was ours and ours alone. Only thing missing was a hot bitch eager to fuck. Never been on or touched a football field or astroturf before in my life till then. Even the suites were open season. Now we know how the rich people experience the live games. They have fancy tables and chairs, a fridge stocked with beer, soda, and iced tea, plasmas, air conditioning, hot food, lots of cabinets, merchandise out the ass, and a view unlike any other. Just like UCF Arena, every seat in the stadium is a good seat. Only prob is that the place was creaking so much and it was clearly deserted for a good amount of time.

There were big orb weaving spiders and various bugs everywhere. On golf carts, doorways, stairwells, in the bathrooms…it was pretty nasty. I snapped some pics but the quality isn’t all that great. Just did it to prove that I was in that stadium the way I’m saying I was. The lights were on in some parts of the stadium too. Wasted electricity. Now you know they contribute to the energy crisis. I expected a luxurious stadium but it was cheap as fuck. Bleacher seats and the thing is practically brand new? Only place that was locked was the locker rooms. Everything else was touchable. Why’d we do it? Cuz we could, that’s why. I’m an opportunist and the opportunity was there and I took it. Plus I’d never been there and knew if I did again, I’d never get to see the suites the way I just did. Once again, I’ve proven that people are living in a false sense of security. What if I was a terrorist and planted bombs all over the joint and set them motherfuckers to go off at the next game? What if I wanted all the plasmas? To hack their servers? Just so you know, it can be done if someone really wanted to.

Don’t go talkin’ shit about me for exposing their lackluster security. Get mad at them cuz they’re not protecting you the way you should be. Exposed Universal Orlando too not that long ago. First the theme park and now a major college stadium. Sad and pathetic all at the same time. Once we got through gloating about our accomplishment, we hit up a gas station which had the cheapest gas in the area at the time ($2.65) and then we hit up a Wal-Mart Neighborhood Center where the employees and staff are representative of the demographic in the area: college kids.

The employees were yelling and cussing with customers around. They left boxes and plastic all over the aisles along with product that might have fallen off shelves. Shit was just blocking anyone from passing through with their carts. Looked like a fucking warzone. They clearly didn’t respect their workplace nor the customers. Shit is a major safety hazard and I know for a fact against store policy. Clean as you go, not make a mess and come back to clean it later, idiots. They left full boxes on top of frozen items. So much so that you had to lift the boxes and move them to get to what you wanted underneath them. Plus they had a pallet leaning up against a freezer. That’s significant cuz store policy is to lay pallets flat cuz if they fall from that position, someone could get hurt, possibly a customer, and now you’ve got a lawsuit on your hands. And then when we left, they were all on the side of the store in plain sight on their break, talking loud and laid up in shopping carts and on the ground like they were loitering. And the mess was still inside.