My last regular article explained what happened to Zooskool and Beasttube, recommended a site like Beasttube, and explained how to save/download the vids from that site to your computer. I check my stats all the time and the very next day, my hits doubled for that week. And today my hits tripled. Wow. I know that momentum ain’t gonna last but I’d like to thank new and old visitors for checking out my site. One little article was responsible but still, I’ll take it. I don’t profit worth a shit from people visiting cuz I don’t have ads on my site but it’s nice to know my efforts aren’t for nothing. It takes time to put an article together. More time than most of you reading this might think. Especially if there’s pics and html involved.

I just like to express myself uninhibited and share my knowledge and experiences. A chic I used to know read some of my content and asked why I wasn’t writing for profit by getting hired to do this type of shit professionally. I told her straight up that I didn’t wanna be censored. Big time joints will edit your content to hell to fit into their values, culture, and standards and that’s all fine and dandy. But for me, fuck that. I wanna say what I wanna say, the way I wanna say it and if it takes a long article to do it, so be it. It ain’t like I don’t go back and edit my shit. But that’s mainly grammar and spelling and shit like that that I pay attention to. Everything else is just me talking my shit the way I talk it as if I was speaking to you in person. Of course, ebonics, dialect, and some slang is hard to spell sometimes so…you get what I’m saying.

This is a personal blog. It features plenty of multimedia content but first and foremost it’s a forum for me to express myself. Now some people come here because they’re interested in what I have to say. Others just wanna explore the multimedia if I have anything of interest. Knowing that I’m not doing it for nothing is why I keep doing it. It’ll be three years next May. I still got some work to do to improve the look and navigation of the site but that’ll all come in time. It’s a work in progress. Coming up first in Google searches is also a motivation (because it’s the one I use and they just happen to be the most used search engine). Yeah, sometimes the first site that appears in a search is completely irrelevant garbage spam bullshit. Trust me, I know. But I’m glad my site is starting to get that first-up status (depending on the search query) cuz I’ll know visitors are getting real deal shit, not some crap site. My PageRank has even went back up (from 3, down to 2, back up to 3 again) ever since I graduated and started updating regularly again too. The site will only get better with time people. So thanks for visiting.

It’s no secret I came from a poor background. Only in the last two years have I started using my brain to get my life the way it should be. I came up with the phase plan and it works to a fucking tee. Moneywise, I’m doing great. Could always use more but I ain’t hurtin’ like I used to. I still plan on retiring within the next few years too and I ain’t kiddin’ around when I say that either. I got some big purchases and some big plans coming up. You know you’ll hear about ‘em here, so stay tuned. A nigger just opened his first 401(k) account. Just got health and dental too. Nigger movin’ up from being in that shit percentage of Americans who ain’t got none of those things. I’m perfectly healthy so that health insurance probably ain’t gonna get used much, if at all if I stay healthy and I damn sure plan on it. It’s just there for security. And for another reason. Let’s just say my employer gives a medical credit for having insurance not supplied by them and said credit is actually a form of profit for me. I just took advantage of the dental insurance last Friday and I gotta tell ya, now I know what that wait feels like. Couldn’t relate to people who talked about it before, but I do now.

Did I tell you it was my very first dental visit in my adult life? Actually it’s the second but the first (many years ago) was a coupon I used to get a diagnosis of what needed to be done to my teeth so that didn’t count. Stupid, yeah, I know. But nothing happened and I never got shit done back then, so fuck it. First time for everything, right? Got there early to fill out paperwork and shit before my 11a appointment. Got that bullshit done and still had to wait about 10 more minutes. I know some of you might be saying that 10 minutes ain’t shit but I absolutely detest waiting! I hate that fucking shit. Motherfucker, when I walk up in the joint, I want immediate service. That’s just the way I am. You want this fuckin’ money? Earn it, bitch. I don’t need you, you need me, motherfucker. Needless to say there were 3 people there before me and I got called before them. Maybe they needed different shit done, I don’t know and don’t give a flying fuck. Long as I’m taken care of in a timely manner, that’s all I give a fuck about. And fuck you too if you think I’m being an inconsiderate, braggart, bastard ass motherfucker. Fuck  you!

Being that this was my first ever real visit, I didn’t know what the fuck to expect. I asked a shitload of questions too and they knew my situation and didn’t mind answering all of them. Got my x-rays done first. Then I was sent to another room and put in a chair. Chic gave me some info to read on periodontal disease and left. Felt like I was given a fucking std test result telling me I had AIDS and shit and they wanted me to have some alone time to soak it in. But all it was was info. I mainly got crooked teeth. Have my whole life. My plan is to get braces in the future and they were glad that I was taking that step. The dentist came in (gq lookin’ motherfucker) and checked me out and him and his assistant were very surprised that I didn’t have gingivitis and plaque, stank breath, teeth wasn’t painin’ like Oprah’s va-jay-jay and all this other fucked up shit in my grill since I never had a cleaning before. Hey, I takes care of my shit. And I kiss with tongues. What?

My periodontal disease wasn’t that advanced since I keep my mouth clean by brushing regularly, I don’t grind my teeth, and my gums ain’t as black as my skin. So after checking out my shit to tell me how many fillings I’d need (7), I got sent to another room for the actual cleaning. My fillings are gonna cost me a pretty penny even with the insurance but lucky for me my cavities are very small and not all gross and spread out and black and obvious as fuck like some wraggly mouth motherfuckers.

I ain’t got a few big cavities. I got a lot of little ones. You’ve seen them big ass ones. You know, when a porn whore is about to swallow that nut? They open their mouth all wide and shit and you can see dem big black ass spots on their molars and shit. Lookin’ like some little brat with a black crayon used their mouth as a coloring book. Like a college student filled in their teeth like bubbles on an answer sheet and shit. Bitches makin’ all that money and can’t afford to fix their teeth and shit. Guess all that dick spritz ain’t doin’ no good, huh? Now hold on a sec. I ain’t sayin’ swallowing jizz bombs gives you cavities. I ain’t saying that at all! Don’t get me wrong, I completely advocate the art of the cum swallow. I’m just sayin’…it was just an observation. Keep on drinking our love juice ladies. It’s good for you.

They tried to push financing the fillings on me and I wasn’t havin’ that shit. Gimme a month to save the money and we’ll be in biz. Gotta budget the time and money for that shit, ya know? They also tried to push getting an oral cancer screening. They said it’s a new procedure in the industry and should be done once a year. If you smoke anything (weed, cigs, or gars) or chew snuff, then you’re the ones who really need that shit. Or if your spouse is a nasty motherfucker that does that dumb shit and you’re kissing them, same shit. Kinda like second hand or contact smoke except you swap spit and it infects your mouth. Which in itself is like eating an unkempt pussy. You don’t want your mouth to look and feel like an unkempt pussy, do you? Shit didn’t cost much, about 60 bucks, but that was just too much too soon for a first visit.

Before they showed up, I was waiting in there all alone, listening to the drills and sloppy sounds of another person getting some work done in a room behind me. Ain’t no fuckin’ doors in the fuckin’ place and shit. I turned around to check that shit out, looked like someone was trying to build a fucking Frankenstein. Goddamn doc and his help all up in that motherfucker’s mouth. That bitch all laid out with that light all up in their face and shit. Fucking machine, drills, and gargling sounds coming outta there and shit. Water and slob flying out they mouth and shit. Damn doc talking shit to ‘em to keep ‘em calm and bullshit. Whoever the fuck that was musta had a grill more jacked up than mine. Fuck. During the operation (cuz that’s what the fuck it looked like), they was tellin’ the patient (who didn’t get gassed it seems) to cut down on the soda. I don’t drink soda often. Maybe 2 or 3 bottles a year tops. After seein’ that bullshit, I might cut down even more.

Oh yeah, my dental assistant was nice. Nice as in good looking. Plenty of meat. Redbone chic with freckles. Long brown hair. Probably a mix breed. Big ass titties. Turns out she runs the joint and was helping out since they were short staffed. When she wasn’t lookin’ at me, I was checkin’ her out. She was all professional at first but since I got that swagger, I got her to talk like people really talk and she was tellin’ personal info that I ain’t gonna reveal here. I wasn’t tryin’ to violate no doctor/patient confidentiality and shit, but it was a confidence booster for me. Get a chic like that to be real with a nigger and shit lets me know the type of chics I’m capable of pulling if I had access to ‘em. Meaning if I was in a place that had females close and available, like a club or whatever, I could pull just being my geeky ass self. But I ain’t got time for that shit no more unfortunately. I always knew I was the type of guy that gets people to loosen the fuck up. The way I talk is just real. I ain’t fake as fuck. People realize that, they get comfortable and be themselves. Sometimes they tell me shit I shouldn’t know or don’t even care to know but they say it anyway.

For example, she was saying that I remind of her someone she worked with. I played that shit smooth as fuck and got her to spill all the details, names and everything. Shit involving her background and shit that no one should reveal. But she felt comfortable doing it. I ain’t the type of guy that’s gonna blurt people’s biz all over the street. You tell me something in confidence, it stays that way unless I got your permission to talk about the shit. Notice I ain’t said what dentist office I went to or her name or any details like that. See? Some things you gotta hold back on. But that little experience there was a booster. 

Anyway, turns out even after 32 years of dental neglect, my mouth is in better shape than most people. They didn’t tell me to stop doing whatever and didn’t even ask if I ate or drank whatever. They just said keep doing what you’re doing. They sent me off to another room to get my mouth cleaned out. I’m laying down while a new dentist, a good-looking older chic, was scraping away while I got this tube in my mouth to suck out all the water and slob. Now I got an idea what ol’ Frankenstein was feeling like cuz I was in the same predicament sans the intensity. Damn dentist was layin’ the tube across my chest at times and shit. What the fuck do I look like to you, a desk? I didn’t get mad at all. I was trying real hard not to laugh cuz I thought that shit was funny. One false move when she had that scraper in my mouth and I woulda been fucked.

After that, she sprayed my teeth with some kind of minty solution and then put in a mouth guard filled some frothy shit. I had to clamp down on it and keep it there for about 5 minutes with that tube still in my mouth and I was slobbing a little bit too. I fucking kid you not, but for some reason I felt like Hannibal Lecter and shit and was laughing my ass off on the inside. Shit was just weird as fuck to me. Woulda been a great photo op. When all that was done and I was up front paying, I still had that minty taste in my mouth but was producing a lot of saliva. I’ll be damned if I was gonna swallow that shit so I opened the front door and spit that shit right on the ground in front of it. Fuck it. Shoulda had a patch of grass out there.

Twas an interesting experience. Place was like a doctor’s office and shit. White and bright. Guess that’s how it’s supposed to be. Attractive staff. You don’t want some ugly, fat ass motherfucker playin’ around in your shit, do ya? Didn’t think so. Unfair? Sure is, but that’s life. Gotta be honest, I’d be the same way. You look like you take care of yourself, people will take you seriously and respect your position more, especially one like that. Drills, needles, and shit like that don’t scare me. Some people are squeamish about that shit but not me. Cuz I got big, heavy balls of steel. They told me not to eat shit until after 30 minutes. And my gums were still bleeding a bit when I left. Still are slightly. But they told me that would happen. All in all, no pain no gain. It was a good first visit.

The dentists were amazed at how little the amount of crap was on and inbetween my teeth but still said I should floss regularly, which I do now. Did that for the first time ever last night. Pain in the ass and real time consuming but it’s gotta be done. Kinda like sex, I guess the more I do it, the better I’ll get at it and it won’t take so long in the future (unlike sex). Gotta go back this Friday for a fluoride treatment and polishing to get my teeth cleaner and whiter. Fillings and braces are all I’ll need after that, regular cleanings aside. I thought my shit was all fucked up and I would need all this different shit done to me. Guess it pays to stay clean and healthy. I do know that when it comes time for me to get my braces, it’s gonna be a bitch. I’ve seen and known plenty of bracefaces out there and I know I ain’t got nothing good to look forward to other than straighter teeth. With that in mind, I’m pretty sure I don’t wanna be a metalmouth. I’m probably going the invisible route. Might cost more but I think it’ll be worth it to avoid the inevitable, constant teasing. An adult with braces has gotta put up with just as much shit as a kid with them.

Oh yeah, guess what? Last Saturday night I went to Walmart to go grocery shopping and shit. Hit up the toothpaste aisle to get me some floss and shit, right? Guess who I ran into? Redbone chic. She was all smiling and shit, surprised to see me and shit. I exploited her knowledge cuz I was in that aisle for longer than I’d prefer, trying to choose a floss. She recommended the right kind to me and told me that if you’re gonna pick a toothpaste, get one with the highest amount of fluoride since that’s all that really matters to keep your teeth healthy. We shot the shit for a bit. Turns out she’s got a kid and a husband. She was with her kid and wanted me to meet her hubby but he was conveniently not present. Damn kid wasn’t paying attention or listening or anything. Just bein’ a damn kid.

But she hooked me up with the info I needed. She wondered if I was going back to her office anytime soon. Yeah, this Friday. Smile got even bigger. I know something could happen there if I pursued it but she’s my fucking dentist and that’s a line I ain’t gonna cross. I don’t need no angry, spiteful, whackjob dentist fucking up my shit on purpose while I’m gassed out. That’s assuming if shit went sour of course. Seen those Corbin Bernsen movies? Learn from ‘em. Besides, I was supposed to meet another chic that night and I ain’t that playa type nigger. We met, had a good time, and I still talk to her but nothing’s set in stone right now. As of this moment, I’m still single, so it’s open season. That’s how the dating game works.