I call it quick cuz it’s kinda late and I ain’t got time to do a full review for all of them. Let’s start with National Treasure. I never saw it (not that I didn’t want to) when it first came out in theaters in ‘04. Probably cuz I was piss poor at that time and couldn’t afford it. Then part 2 just came out last week and reminded me about part 1. Rather than renting or buying it (fuck your opinion), I went online and looked for a torrent. Found a very high quality dvdrip in .mkv format encoded with x264. It was a fairly new torrent as all the other ones were old and didn’t have any seeders. I got lucky. So did some of you since I have that same file posted here in .flv format. If you want the original torrent, I’ve already given you some search terms to help you out. It really ain’t that hard to find.

Since it’s a Disney pic and rated PG, I wasn’t expecting much in the way of violence and cussing. It had neither. Not a single cuss word. No blood. No punches thrown. G.I. Joe and Noir type violence. Meaning nobody got killed and nobody got shot even though a motherfucker is 5 feet away and emptying a clip on your ass. The movie coulda been gangsta as fuck but it didn’t suffer due to lack of all those goodies that I like in my movies. I liked it. It was a good movie. A decent amount of suspense was built to move the scenes along and it was well paced. Right from the get, you know it’s gonna be an adventure. The goal and the protagonist are established immediately. Dialogue and casting establish who the antagonists are. It’s just very obvious right at the beginning. Only a really dumb kid (or even an adult) who doesn’t know shit about movies wouldn’t know.

Movies like this just gotta have a hot chic and a sidekick and this has both. Of course the good guy gets the girl (firmly established in their first meeting) and the sidekick is comedy relief as expected. And you just know, of course, that the good guys won. All the clichés are here. You’d think that’d kill the movie’s enjoyment but it doesn’t. History buffs especially will like this as lots of trivial shit is laced in the dialogue and plot. The movie is actually very simple and predictable, regardless of some high tech gadgetry used in the first third of the flick (everything is explained). The rating tells you who it appeals to. They keep the interest level high but the plot easy to follow and not over-complicated. Would I recommend this? Yes. I don’t have much for complaints about it when keeping the intended audience in context. Having said that, I look forward to seeing part 2.

Then you got Jackass 2.5. All I got to say about that is…OH MY GOD! Some of that shit (literally) was just nasty as hell. Yes, I laughed my ass off when I watched it. I love this type of shit. But they straight up went for the gross out factor with this one. It’s no surprise what so ever that a lot of that footage got cut from part 2 for a reason. Shit, piss, blood, vomit, nudity, spit, it’s all there. I can (barely) stomach seeing Preston Lacy’s fat ass and his balls hanging like cow titties between his legs. I can watch Bam pull out his dick and compare it to a react impact munition like it’s no big deal. Steve O drinking beer filtered through the world’s longest fingernails is tolerable (and hilarious). There’s a lot worse scenes than those in the movie but the nastiest shit in that whole vid was the cajun obstacle course. What some of them did (and what they showed) at the end was just plain disgusting, putrid, vile, and…let me just say this: it was hard to watch. DO NOT eat anything while watching this movie unless you got a seriously strong stomach. Don’t say I didn’t warn you! But if you’re a Jackass fan, you’ll love it.

Beowulf I paid to see (so fuck you MPAA lovers out there). Me and my homeboy went to the IMAX Dome theatre at the MOSI (Museum of Science and Industry) in Tampa to see it. He already saw it in 3D. I was opposed to seeing it cuz I didn’t like the special effects. He kept on harping and hammering, telling me I need to see the shit. I was still totally against it. The only way I’d see it was if someone else was gonna pay for it. We found out it was playing in the dome and that helped change my mind. He’d never been to one. I hadn’t been to one in a long, long time. Plus it was a chance to get the fuck out of Orlando, even for just a few hours. So we went for it. I love my city but sometimes you just gotta get the fuck away, you know?

Doesn’t even take an hour to get to Tampa from here if traffic is light, which it was. We stopped to get some grub first. We chose A&W on Fowler Ave. Food was good (unlike the labor) and cheap (like the labor) but they served me a cold hot dog. They replaced it and were apologetic but count on me never eating there again. When we got to the MOSI (plentiful free parking), there was this exhibit outside called the Hurricane. You sit in it and wind blows on you at 75 mph for about a minute. Shit, bitch, that’s daily in the summertime. This is Florida! You gotta give me damn near 200 mph to impress me. The appeal was obviously to kids but hey, I’m just a big ass kid my damn self. What about people like me? I scored some vid of the whole thing but it ain’t even worth posting.

We went in, paid for our tix ($10.95), walked into the theatre and were amazed at the sheer size of the place. Probably like a white bitch fucking her first nigger. It was just plain big. Place wasn’t that full so that was a plus. The usher did her little presentation and then there’s an intro to IMAX technology as far as the screen and sound system. Then the movie started. Now when you first walk in before the movie, they’re playing commercials or something and the screen size is tiny. My friend thought that’s what we were gonna see. I told him to wait. They started that damn movie and that image filled up that dome, he was like any guy on planet earth would be if Halle Berry was butt ass naked in front of him (pregnant or not, don’t matter) telling him to “fuck the shit out of me.” His damn mouth was all open, eyes looked as big as an anime character’s and shit.

The damn image was just huge. The shit was everywhere. It’s like you’re really in it. You’re fucking surrounded and shit. I did have a prob with the seats. They don’t recline, so you gotta tilt your neck up to watch the movie as opposed to a reclining seat that adjusts your back and bod to the proper, ergonomic viewing position. So if you got or know you’re prone to neck pain, an IMAX Dome ain’t gonna work out for you. They even have a warning for those sitting in the seats further down that viewing could be rather intense and you could get dizzy and shit. Shit, if a fucking movie does some shit like that to your ass, you shouldn’t even be in the motherfucking theatre to begin with. It ain’t like it’s a fucking roller coaster and shit.

Also, if you’re a clumsy motherfucker who can’t walk in a straight fucking line or keep your fucking balance, sit your bitch ass at the bottom. The seating arrangement is like a winding mountain road or a steep cliff with no guard rails. One false step and you’re falling. There’s generous legroom but don’t try to be brave, motherfucker. The proof is in the pics. Once you find a comfy seat that’s gonna give you maximum viewing pleasure and range with minimal neck pain, you’re good to go. You’re gonna be moving your neck from side to side to soak in the whole pic. Like a tennis match right on the sidelines. Or them motherfuckers in that 3M privacy filter commercial. Just giving you a heads up.

So the movie starts and I’m greeted with this motion capture technology that I was wholly opposed to giving a chance. I was impressed by the cg, and the movie, and it was money well spent. The movie was very good and recommended to be seen on a bigger screen. Doesn’t have to be IMAX but it does have to be a larger sized, quality screen with good sound. The cg was very lifelike and a vast improvement over that shit Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. Human movements and expressions were very close to real. The story was well written and directed. But, in my opinion, all of that takes a back seat to the voice acting.

This movie probably had the best voice cast I’ve ever heard from any movie, cartoon, or anything that required voice-over work. It was absolutely excellent. That’s the best word to describe it. Perfect casting. Anthony Hopkins and Ray Winstone deserve some kind of recognition for their work cuz it was just really, really great acting. Very passionate, realistic, and unique. Storywise, from what I understand, they deviated from the source material to make it more relevant and theatrical. That’s fine. And Angelina Jolie’s body shape was made pretty much perfect. No long legs and skinny arms here. They made her a dime piece from top to bottom.

I really didn’t know what to expect from the story. Although I’m an English Creative Writing major, Beowulf is a poem that was never on any syllabus. My friend read it as a kid and was all jolly and shit when he found out about the movie. Go figure. One would think on the dvd that there’s gonna be this theatrical version and then a verbatim version. That makes the most sense to me and I don’t see that not happening. If it doesn’t, then someone somewhere is an idiot.

In Beowulf’s fight with Grendel, either the movie was flawed or the frame rate via the projector got fucked up for a few seconds. It just got real choppy for a little bit. Qualitywise, I’m going with the projector cuz I don’t think the movie would’ve gotten released with such a production flaw. Another thing is that the far edges of the image were skewed because of the dome’s shape. This movie clearly wasn’t optimized for dome viewing because the images aren’t crystal clear like you’d expect. You can see the pixilation in the enlarged images. In snow scenes, you can see the support grids in the actual screen. Then you have the skewing on the sides. I haven’t seen this in 3D, and probably won’t, but that’s probably the route to go to get the best IMAX experience. Domes are great but the movie’s gotta be optimized and filmed specifically for it. This wasn’t.

Seems like I’m talkin’ more about the theatre than the movie, don’t it? Well shit, the screen is gonna make or break the moviegoing experience. Loudmouth ass niggers with bebe kids are gonna do the same. It had to be some kind of tour group cuz a bunch of supervised (not a typo) kids were sitting at the bottom doing what dumb little underprivileged nigger kids do: talk to the fucking screen. And they were encouraged by the adults. Man, I was gettin’ kinda pissed. This is a premium venue and they let you fucking disrespectful, hood ass, ghetto ass niggers in? What’s this world come to? This is how stupid people like that are, it ain’t just niggers. The fucking screen can’t talk back to your dumb ass. Tellin’ a motherfucker not to open a door? You dumb ass bitch, you think that motherfucker on screen can hear you? Like they’re gonna turn and look at your coochie ass and ask, “Why not?” Fucking idiot, take your fuck ass home and go talk to someone who wants to hear your shit. This ain’t the time and place for that bullshit.

Ironic that the ushers didn’t say shit to the fuck niggers and their bebe’s but when I snapped the pics you see here (with my cell phone), they got on the p.a. and said no pics allowed. Fuck you, motherfuckers! Let the niggers interrupt the enjoyment of the movie but one nigger wants to take a couple pics, you talk shit to me? What the fuck I look like, a terrorist? Better do your damn job and fuck with the people that need to be fucked with. Not me, bitch.

The loud, idiot niggers didn’t detract from the movie though. These days, you learn to tune people out but even then, patience can wear thin. Cooler heads prevailed on this occasion. Look people, plain and simple, if you’re reading this, you need to shut the fuck up when a movie is playing! Don’t point out to your ugly ass, retarded ass, fucktard bitch girlfriend that a guy just took a beer from the fridge. I can fucking see that for myself. If that bitch is really that fucking slow, what the fuck are either of you doing there? You fucks need to wait for the dvd. Then you can talk whatever shit you want to that slow ass ho. I don’t wanna hear your comments, observations, or your pussy ass reactions. Just keep your fucking mouth shut unless you’re eating or fucking breathing. That’s it. No, no. No coughing or sneezing either, bitch. Cover your fucking shit and make that shit as silent as possible, with your unhealthy ass.

You brought your fucking kid to a movie theater? You really are a pathetic piece of shit, aren’t you? Can’t afford a fucking babysitter but you can afford a movie ticket, a drink, and some fucking popcorn. Not to mention giving your damn baby a headstart on hearing loss. Way to go. You’re a real good parent. Just want you to know that. Motherfuckers. People wanna associate niggers, spics, and teens with the talking prob in the theaters. Nuh uh, motherfucker. That ain’t always the case. It’s unsupervised kids, shit parents, and loser ass bitch nigger guys that are the prob. And that’s straight up. Movie theater management needs to tackle this shit. And fuck being nice. Tell a motherfucker straight up before the movie starts, I hear your fucking voice, I’ll stop this fucking movie, spotlight your punk ass, escort you the fuck out, not give you a fucking refund, and permanently trespass your motherfucking pussy ass. And that’s on the fucking real. Make examples out of motherfuckers. Embarrass these bitch asses.

What can I say? I’m single, no kids, no family I care to communicate with, friends are all doing their thing, and I got no pussy prospects. So what does a guy like me do on a paid day off? Chill at home, eating, sleeping, watching tv and movies…and jack off. Even if I had some steady pussy, I’d still jack off. Even when I had steady pussy, I still jacked off. When I have steady pussy again, I’ll still jack off. Get my drift? Can’t help it. I got a high sex drive and I ain’t gonna be driven crazy by the deadliest of all diseases: DSB (Deadly Semen Build-up). Fuck them lyin’ ass motherfuckers that say they don’t masturbate. If some bitch or nigger tells you that shit, they’re either full of their own bullshit or sex just ain’t that important to them. And if you’re like me, that’s the type of motherfucker you’ll never be happy with. Straight up. If I get with a bitch and she don’t like to fuck as much as I do, it just ain’t gonna work out in the long term.

What’s the number one reason people cheat? Cuz they ain’t gettin’ what they want, when they want it. Simple as that. Sex is of utmost importance to me and I’ll be the very first one to admit that I beat my meat on an almost daily basis. Sometimes more than once a day! Absolutely no shame here.

Woke up kinda early today but I did get all of my sleep in. Rather than lay in bed trying to go back to sleep (cuz it was still dark), I got online and did some porn research. I’ve been getting some hits about Milena Velba. My homeboy put me up on her a few months back cuz he’s a big titty lover. I got some pics of her in the Coolpix area I think. Pics are one thing. Video is another. I did some online and p2p searching and a lot of her vids seem to be pretty short. One dl completed and it was only about 5 minutes. Probably less. I deleted it already cuz, to me, it didn’t seem complete. But apparently it was.

It was her and some other chic named Nadine Jansen, another boobalicious babe. They were sitting on a couch (speaking whatever language they speak) and Nadine was squeezing some milk from Milena’s tits. Then Nadine left and Milena started milking her own tits. All I got to say about what I saw is WOW! Someone that looks like her with naturally big tits and that milk was just flying and flowing. Oh, how I wish I was the recipient. The vid cut off there. Good stuff but could’ve been better. She’s got a full length vid called ‘Milk!’ that I’m downloading right now so when that’s done, I’ll peep it and see what she’s really all about. Lookswise, that bitch is a real fucking trophy, unlike these suburban, bleached blonde, soccer mom, plastic surgery nightmare bitches!

I’ve seen plenty of lactation vids but most of them aren’t hardcore enough for me. Most of the time it’s just bitches squeezing and the milk is just squirting onto a mirror or in the air for the cam. Or just really lame breastfeeding. I’d rather see bitches squeeze into a glass and drink it, maybe even with some cum mixed in too. Into another bitch’s mouth who swallows and swaps it. Onto a healthy sized dick and then suck and/or fuck it. Inside of a pussy or ass and suck it out with a straw or let it flow out for some spoonfeeding. Or even better, just suck their own tits, squeeze into their own mouth, gargle, and swallow. I’m a nasty motherfucker, ain’t I? I like quality. Most porn ain’t quality or gangsta enough for me. The talent is there and ready to perform. Use them up for everything they’re worth.

Peeped out a couple Mandingo vids and a vid featuring Marta from ftvgirls.com. I check out tgp movie sites often. My prob with them is that most of them don’t tell who the performers are, what site you can get the vids from, or what dvd or scene they ripped it from. It’s a pain in the ass trying to find shit sometimes. Case in point is Agangels.net. They’ve got a lot of good fisting content. They specialize mostly in that and piss and cum. But I mainly wanna see the fisting. There’s no good crack for their sites and trying to find individual, full-length scenes haven’t produced good enough results for me. Their vids are pretty easy to spot. Just look for those black and white pillows. Wish I was them.

Not that I can’t find content. I just can’t find what I wanna see. All I want is the scene with Lola couch-fisting (above, in the pic on the right), and the scene with Bea and Iris where Bea fists herself up the ass (on the left). Doing a little digging today, I’ve discovered that the producers of that content and site have slapped it all on dvd. The company is called Shameless (how appropriate) and they have a series of dvd’s that are basically collections of scenes from their websites. This site has dvd cover pics while this one (comes up first in multiple Google searches and isn’t in english) has more detailed info, screencaps, and you can buy them. Just so happens that the scenes I want are on a couple of those dvd’s. I can download 2 of the dvd’s online but they don’t have what I want. There are no single dvdrips or scene rips yet either. So in time, I’ll get what I want. No matter what it is, you need to do your research. It pays off.

In the works for my site (the one you’re at right now) is still the free porn database. I’ve discovered a few new sites and got rid of others as they either don’t update regularly or they don’t exist anymore. I hate RapidShare links but that’s what most of them have. Still, free is free. It’ll be some time before I can post it all here. I want it to look good and be credible, ya know? Plus the exclusive video section needs some cleanup as some of the vids won’t play because the player won’t work. Plus I want to jazz up the way it looks. So there’s some things I wanna do here that just take time to do. Stay tuned.

Sitcoms are a dying breed these days but there are still some good ones left. I like ‘Til Death. Particularly the theme song. Really catchy and cheesy like some of the songs in The Brothers Solomon. Can’t find that mp3/audio file anywhere so I’m just gonna dl a show ep torrent and rip it from there. Call me a nerd ass bitch for liking and wanting it, but hey, I gotta have it.

I checked out Snoop Dogg’s Father Hood and that shit is so fake. Cat is from the hood and shit and can’t stay outta jail for carrying weed and a gun and shit and this is the shit that we get? Talkin’ ‘bout “This Ain’t the Huxtables” and shit. You know what? You’re right. And it ain’t entertaining either. I stomached the full first ep but after that, I was done. His wife was the only thing worth looking at. As much as I’m a loyal E! viewer, they sure know how to produce a lot of crap programming. Your favorite metro (or homo) Ryan Seacrest is behind most of that shit. Kid, you need to stick to your 15,000 other jobs and stop polluting E! with your shit show ideas. I’ve defended reality tv for a long time, but now it’s like a giant cesspool of bullshit. I know it’s cheap to produce and can pull in more ad bucks if ratings are solid, but some of the ideas are just retarded. And the copycat formulas are just tired. Remember Pirate Master, the Survivor copy? Unfortunately I do too. I know they aired it to capitalize on the release of Pirates of the Caribbean 3 but jeez.

Idol was the first to bring us the 3-judge system. 2 guys and a hot girl. One of the guys is mean and probably not American. The other guy is mostly neutral. The chic is hot and plays the nice one of the bunch. Goddamn near every fucking talent show after Idol uses that fuck ass formula and it’s just fucking tired to me. I’m over it and I won’t watch some shows because of it. Gimme something new and fucking original. Then you got the Laguna Beach ripoffs/spinoffs. That list is just endless. I don’t watch any of that trash. And can you believe that the media is actually making it seem like it’s a surprise that the fucking shows are scripted? Gimme a fucking break. That shit was way too obvious. You know how people really talk and act and none of that bullshit is realistic at all. Granted some of it is real, but most of it is fake, stage-directed or cued garbage.