Dammit, the shuttle landed safely.  I shouldn’t be surprised it didn’t blow up.  There wasn’t a nigger on board.

Why is the media calling Marc Cohn a musician when all he really is is a one-hit wonder?  Hey, I just tell it like it is.

FUCKING FINALLY.  For 3 damn years I've watched Super Porky come to the ring and have enjoyed it each and every time.  I particularly enjoyed his ring music.  I was never able to find the song online before, but I actually took the time to listen to the lyrics this time around and finally got it right.  Doing a google search, King Africa's song "La Bomba" comes up.  I did an Altavista mp3 search and found a site with the original and other versions of the song.  I kept a megamix version and another version was by Azul Azul.  I listened to it and it was

similar to the one that Super Porky uses.  Problem was, it was a remix.

So I did a google search for the original Azul Azul version and found out that the song was called appropriately "La Bomba" and they did another song called "Apretaito".  I think Latin Lover might've came out to that song, that's why it sounded familiar.  It didn't take me long to hop on Shareaza and downloaded both of them.  I'm living proof that where there's a will, there's a way.  Never give up.  I know, I know, I sound like a fucking self-help guru.

I went to the library yesterday to get some comics to read so I'll have something to occupy my time at work since it's so goddamn slow.  I'm still gonna need that laptop.  Since my job is so fucking boring, it'll enable me to get online, write my story, and do my homework...all while I'm on the clock.  Can't beat that.  Don't get it twisted, though.  I'm still piss poor and broke.  Any donations are welcome.  Just click the link to the right.

First it was Janet and Raven.  Now it’s Courtney and Lisa Marie.  They’re the exact opposites of Lindsay and Nicole.  What’s up with the weight gain, man?  I could give a shit about Courtney Love.  She’s always gonna be fucked up.  And her puttin’ on the pounds is the side effect of gettin’ clean.  For her, it’s a good thing cuz she was a little too slim before.  A little meat never hurt nobody.  She can either keep it or lose it later.  Lisa Marie on the other hand…this lady was a fucking dime but now she looks like she’s outta time.  Yeah, that was lame, wasn’t it?  I was looking at some footage on E! from the recent scientology bash and they showed some pics of her.  The titties were on point, but the rest of her looked like she was an overbloated cow in Haiti left in the floodwaters after the hurricanes.  I’d still nail her.  Courtney, too.  I can’t lie.

They also had some pics of Erika Christensen.  That fucking bitch is hot as hell!  She's come a long fucking way since that crapfest "Swimfan".

Why is it when one thing happens, it’s gotta happen again and again and then stop?  Look at baseball.  It was one throwing error after another.  CNN just started calling them baseball bloopers it was happening so frequently.  Look at Disney.  It was one kid dying after another.  Look at the hurricanes.  It was one hurricane after the other.  Look at WWE.  It was one wrestler getting fired after the other.  And now you don’t hear about shit anymore.  What gives?  I think about shit like this sometimes.  Some things just keep happening and happening all of a sudden and then the craziness stops.  I don’t get the phenomenon, but it is interesting when it happens.  But that’s only if you recognize it when it does.  Keep your eyes open people, and you’ll see what I mean.

Who else heard somebody taking a piss when Kaysar left the house?  I know I couldn’t be the only one.  I voted to bring Kaysar back in by the way.  I voted 3 times on 3 different computers.  Most likely Eric will be brought back for drama.  I can understand that.  Who better to come in and shake the shit out of that house worse than Kaysar did when he was HOH?  At least then I won’t have to hear Ivette’s barrio ass say “cappy” again.  That shit is so fucking annoying.  Her, April and her partner, and Beau are all dead weight in that house.  Those are the motherfuckers I’d get rid of cuz they’re all flying under the radar and they know it.  Then again, they make good pawns whose votes are useful when it comes time for eviction.

“Open up.”

“Feed me.”

“And it tastes good, too.”

“What did I say about the hands?”

“So how was it?”

“Is that all of it?”

“Watch the hair.”

What the fuck am I talking about?  My favorite porn sound bites.

I ain’t ever shaving my head against the grain again.  My fucking head looks like a Proactiv Solution before picture.  The same damn thing happened all those years ago and it’s happened again.  It was painful as hell shaving my shit again after that.  And now that my shit is growing back, it’s all growing back uneven.  I feel like fucking Frankenstein, man.  Now I gotta cover up my head with a du rag or a shirt so people don’t stare for the wrong reasons.  Thanks a lot, Dre!

And I was ready to sympathize with Peter Jennings’ death.  When I found out he started smoking cigarettes again after 9-11, that shit went right out the window.  Everyone knows what can happen because of smoking, so he knew what he was getting into and doing to his body.  Talking in a raspy voice for his last telecast ain’t gonna make me feel sorry for him, either.  He held it down in his day, but he knew the consequences of his actions and now he’s paid for them.

I signed up with 4 more dating sites to maximize my exposure.  So far I talked to one chic in a chat room and one from a dating site.  Ashton has his social experiment and I’ve got mine.  I’ll keep everyone updated on my progress.